Just adjust

OK.  I'm dating a guy with glaucoma. He has difficulty seeing -- and especially at night.  At first, when he made that admission, I thought it would be a problem.  He couldn't accompany me to evening events without compromising his health

Then it occurred to me!  We can do afternoon activities.  And, we have had so much fun going to Museums, tests, and other places that close at 5:00PM.  And, most venues do.

So, with a little adjustment, and a turnaround in my perspective, we have discovered that there is a lot of fun to be had -- before the street lights go on!

It's just a matter of making a small adjustment.

Eliminate the stress during the holidays - JUST SAY NO!

All right.  I know holidays are connecting with families but if the family posses a problem, eliminate the stress and don't do it.

My family is dwindling and only my nephew and his wife remain.  They invited me to Thanksgiving with her family. This group is very strange. One brother is an ex-convict. Her sister is a certified schizophrenic and another aunt is an alcoholic.

After being with them for a gathering last summer, and in other settings through the years, I knew I can only take them in small doses -- not over 30 minutes.

So, when I got the invite to Thanksgiving, my memory harkened back to those times when I could barely tolerate them.  So, I decided to minimize the stress and say NO.

I went, instead to dinner at a friend's where I had a great time.

It made me realize that you have to keep yourself sane.  So, if it's going to be stressful, don't do it.  JUST SAY NO!

You can have fun in the daytime

I'm dating a guy who has glaucoma and doesn't like driving at night.  That, at first, stunted our fun.  I would go on to my evening functions solo.  But I wanted to share these experiences with him. Then, it occurred to me that, with a few adjustments, we can have fun doing day things.  So, instead of nighttime fun, we frequent museums, matinees and recreational centers that have activities during the day.  So, we've made it happen and, on the upside, it allows me to go to bed satisfied because I've lived up to the phrase: "Have a good day."  And, I've had one…during the day.

Extend a hearty congratulations

When someone has done a good job…don't hold back with the praise.  Recently a quasi competitor of mine hosted an awesome event that attracted all of the city's A-listers.  It was the Harlem Fine Arts Show.

I was so impressed with her ability to gather all of these stars in one setting.  Instead of getting jealous or envious, I sent her a lot of luv.

And so, on this blog, I congratulate Lynn Norment on a phenomenal event at the Merchandise Mart.  Based on the smiles and the tremendous networking as well as the tremendous talent the artists exhibited, she deserves Buddah Bows!

Fate is my friend

I was recently in Detroit supporting a sorority sister as she and her husband opened their spa.  It was an awesome event and I was so glad I made the trip.  Just the smile that greeted me made the trip worth it.  But, while I was there, I visited the Wright Museum of African American History.  It was a beautiful visit and the exhibits, memorabilia, artifacts and the overall presentation of the Museum are beyond words. I've always felt Karma was with me because, as I was about to visit my final exhibit and enter the area, a lady said:  "Hi Soror!"  Well, I was carrying me AKA bag and she is a member.  We chatted and it turned out that she is the Vice President of the Museum.  From there, it was nothin' but love.  She gave me a personal tour of the Museum, and shared historic nuggets that I never would have learned.  To top it all off, she gave me a ride to the train depot where I caught the train home.  Had I been a minute early or late, I'd have missed her as she was on her way to her office. It was a memorable visit that became a delightful experience because of this fortuitous meeting.  I've introduced her to AKAs in the area and she made the outreach to them. A fortuitous twist of fate created this meeting and resulted in a new bond and a lifelong friend.

Stay one more minute

I get anxious at events and want to leave.  That happened recently at a party. It was for a radio friend and I got cranky during the tribute speeches and decided to leave.  But, then I decided to stay one more minute.  There were a lot of friends there I hadn't seen.  So, I decided if I'd stay one more minute, I can get past the speeches and connect with old friends and new prospects.  So, while the speeches were droning on, I kept saying "One more minute."  It was worth it for the new friends I met, the old friends I re-connected with and the new prospects I could tap.  It was just worth it for me to say "Stay one more minute."

It's an investment-- Not a cost

I recently hosted a dinner party for former clients, friends and prospects.  It was a way of saying "I may be retired, but I am available for select assignments."  There were about 20 people there and it was a perfect platform for me to be a hostess and to use the power of my hosting position to make my point.  Immediately, I got an assignment.  It paid for the dinner -- and then some.  So, the dinner was an investment -- not a cost!